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Israel's Arab citizens having smaller families: The desired family size among both Israeli Jews and Israeli Arabs is now 3.7 offspring; in practice, overall family size now stands at 2.7 kids for Jews and 3.7 for Arabs and continues on a convergence trajectory. Parallel to that, Arab-Israeli mothers are acculturating-surrendering to Jewish Mother Syndrome...and from the looks of it, the seeds for jokes about the Arab mother who proudly waves a picture of her twin toddlers boasting 'this is my son the doctor, and this is my daughter the lawyer' have already been planted:

            According to a recent study conducted by The Triangle Research and Development Centre *, 94 percent of a sample population of 700 Arab high school students from economically-comfortable families said when queried that they want to go to university – and a full third want to study medicine...the ultimate dream of every Arab yididishe momma now that 25 percent of all the pharmacists in Israel are Arab Israelis (see Prescription for Success).

            The study revealed that Arab-Israeli mothers are not only nagging their sons and daughters to keep their noses to the grindstone; moms are even taking part-time jobs to underwrite private tutors to ensure the kinderlach excel.          Triangle researchers surmise that such aspirations are a form of compensation for the horizons of the mothers' own generation being restricted by male conservatism when they were young – limited to teacher, nurse or social worker at most.**


* The Triangle has nothing to do with geometry; it's all about geography: a triangular-shaped sector of Israel in the Sharon region and Samarian foothills, just inside the Green line densely populated by Israeli Arab villages and towns. 


** Government statistics show only 20 percent of female high school graduates in the Arab sector work, compared to 70 percent of university graduates and only 5 percent of Arab women age 55-67 are part of the workforce.




Judge Amnon Cohen of the Jerusalem District Court was sitting on the case of a fellow whose sentence for a host of serious motor vehicle violations had been appealed by the State.  A state attorney was in the midst of arguing that the guilty party had gotten off far too lightly, when the guilty party suddenly keeled over and swallowed his tongue before the judge could ask if he had anything to say for himself. 

            Cohen – a former combat medic in the tank corps – was the first to recover. Jumping off the bench, the judge waded into the tumult. Desperately struggling to open the defendant's tightly-clenched jaws, Judge Cohen finally grabbed hold of the fellow's wayward tongue, saving the dazed defendant from a sure death sentence. 




Jewish ingenuity is at it again! 

            Kibbutz Sdeh Nechemia's Huliot Industries has designed patented plastic sewer pipes specially suited for apartment buildings. 

            Their unique acoustic attributes solve a universal irritant that plagues apartment dwellers everywhere – rich and poor –  leading Switzerland to pass a law prohibiting the flushing of toilets after 10 PM. The kibbutz's silent sewer pipes magically absorb the noise of flowing water when someone, somewhere in a residential building, goes to the toilet…and the sewage pipes no longer convey the news to each and every tenant anywhere in the building.




In honor of the Chinese New Year – debuting the Year of the Dragon. the Israeli embassy in Beijing decided to scrap written greetings though diplomatic channels, and opted for a videotaped greeting from Prime Minister Benyamin Natanyahu and the President of the State of Israel Shimon Peres, direct to the Chinese people.

 What makes the gesture unique is both Israeli leaders delivered their greetings in Chinese.  The small gesture immediately went viral – receiving 37 million hits on one Chinese websites along n the first three days after it was posted.   

And speaking of messages - short and sweet, cadets for Israel's diplomatic corps are now required to take a special course on How to Tweet.   


* To see an uncensored behind-the-scenes clip of Natanyahu being tutored in Chinese diction by diplomat Guy Kibitz , see this YouTube clip. To view the PM's full greeting (climaxing a 2:15 minute message in English) go here. . 




One of the most memorable Chelm classics concerns the accuracy of police breathalyzer that in 2009 went haywire and wrongly identified orange juice (some say Tirosh brand grape juice) as alcohol.

            More recently, cops pulled over a 27 year-old Technion student in the wee hours and demanded to test the alcohol content in her bloodstream. R. admitted she had a small glass of alcohol but that was five hours earlier.  The cops insisted she submit a breathing test for intoxication.  R. took a deep breath, but failed to provide enough air for the breathalyzer to work – so the cops ticketed her anyway for drunk driving and pulled her driver's license on the spot.

            Fearing she’d be grounded for two years on false grounds, R. took another deep breath and went straight to the nearest hospital where she plunked down 184 NIS ($48) to have the alcohol level in her bloodstream tested in ER.  

            The results – a tenth of the legal limit – settled the case, leaving the Law high and dry.